Family Life, Parenting

Martha-Carol Stewart

Occupation: CEO of Chaos Organizing
Husband: Mike Stewart
Children: Riley, 24; Reed, 22
Hobbies: Traveling, organizing, being outside, and learning new things

To Martha-Carol Stewart, less is more. This is especially relevant in her job as a professional organizer, but she also navigates parenthood with the same mantra. For example, Martha strives to keep her home a safe, decluttered space for her children, her husband, and herself, and she made sure her children spent time outdoors instead of with a surplus of toys. Now that her children are older, it’s about the little things: from hosting dinner parties with their friends, watching them thrive and be responsible adults, and consulting with them when they need it. All her hard work has paid off, and now Martha is transitioning into what she describes as the best phase of parenthood.

WHAT DOES A NORMAL DAY LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
MARTHA: I’m getting up and getting ready at 6:30 in the morning so I can get into the office by 9, but I answer phone calls and emails starting at 8 before I leave the house. Then I am either organizing at a client’s house or doing marketing, advertising, or accounting at my office. I also meet with clients for consultations; my days vary a lot because I wear so many hats! I’m vice president on a board and the president of the alumni association for my sorority, so I do a lot of things outside of work as well.
Every day ends with eating dinner and resetting my house. I spend about 15 minutes every night putting things back in their homes so when I wake up in the morning I have a fresh start. I’m not a morning person, so I want as little to do on my morning list as possible. Then I review my calendar for the next day, make sure my keys, purse, and work bag are all ready to go, and I even fill up my water bottle and stick it in the fridge.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE JOYS AND CHALLENGES OF RAISING YOUR CHILDREN?
MARTHA: There are so many joys because they’re in their 20s! Right now my biggest joy is seeing my two children acting like adults and functioning well in the community. They are flourishing, and it’s nice to know that they are doing okay after all the hard times they have had in their childhood. I look at my kids and am happy they are succeeding. This was an especially big year because my daughter graduated from grad school and she’s getting married! It’s amazing to watch them launch.

My goal has always been to have my children as independent as possible by teaching them to wash their clothes, pack their lunch boxes, developmentally-appropriate responsibilities, which was always a challenge because they didn’t want more responsibilities! They were resistant to those things especially as teenagers. They didn’t want to mow the grass or weed-eat the pond because that meant less time on their phones or with their friends. However, it paid off because I recently saw my son’s organized drawer in his frat house, so it worked out for me!

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS A MOM?
MARTHA: I’m firm, and I try to be consistent and kind, and I’m probably crazy at times like every other overwhelmed mom. I didn’t always have it together, but I apologized when I was wrong or if I lost my temper. I showed my children that mistakes happen and they don’t have to define who you are. I, too, am trying to be better, and if you don’t like a certain behavior or trait of yours, you can change it.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A MOM?
MARTHA: I love watching them do their thing! Watching them navigate life, for me, is the best. It’s really fun to watch these individuals be human beings, and I think I’m in the best stage of parenting right now. I refer to Mike and myself as consultants; we are not parenting anymore. They call us to discuss things, when they need something, or when they have issues, but they make all their own good decisions now, and that is the best thing a parent can see.

HOW DO YOU TACKLE CHALLENGES YOU FACE AS A MOM?
MARTHA: I tackle different things in different ways because every problem is different. A lot of times, I just let them have their space to figure it out. I tried to parent with calmness, which wasn’t always successful. It also helped to have a support system in my husband.

One of my go-to phrases when they were kids was, “Was that behavior helpful or hurtful?” By framing it that way and having them evaluate their behavior themselves, they changed their behavior because they knew what they were doing was wrong. Having a calm environment was a big part of my parenting process as well. Having toys they could maintain themselves was important because, at that point as parents, our homes are so overwhelming with the amount of stuff in them, and it’s overwhelming for the kids, too! I wanted them outside climbing a tree, running barefoot in the grass, exploring, and being curious rather than having the toys be babysitters.

WHO IS YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION?
MARTHA: My husband. He is grounded, calm, thoughtful, and I’ve probably learned the most from him.

WHAT PERSONALITY TRAITS DO YOU SHARE?
MARTHA: Sarcasm. We are a very sarcastic family! They both laugh at themselves as much as I laugh at myself when we make mistakes.

ANY ADVICE FOR OTHER PARENTS?
MARTHA: Make your family your team. My children are close because we are a unit. Other pieces of advice would be “less is more” and “kindness matters.” My biggest advice, I’d say, is it’s okay for your children to make mistakes. Let them learn! Let your children fall down because they will learn how to get back up. Stop trying to protect them from everything, but talk to them about everything. We talked a lot in my house, and we still do. So many behavior problems stem from kids not feeling like they are being heard.

 

My favorite TV show is…Outlander.
My favorite food is…steak.
My favorite dessert is…Elmer’s Gold Brick Eggs.
My guilty pleasure is…sleeping late.
I’m always laughing at…everything.
My dream travel spot is…all 50 states. ■

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