The first and probably most rewarding institution God created was marriage and the family. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper for him.” Man needed help to manage God’s creation, and the most suitable assistant for him was a woman, his wife. Thus, marriage was initiated, the union of a man and a woman as God’s most prized handiwork. This dynamic team of husband and wife still holds a special place in the heart of God today.
With any successful team, and especially God’s team, each team member is a valuable partner. They bring differing, but harmonious characteristics to the group, in this case, the marriage. It is these unique features and qualities that produce success in the holy estate of matrimony. Good husbands and wives do not compete within the marriage, instead, they complement each other.
A major cause of marital conflict that can lead to separation is the failure of partners to operate in their unique God-given roles in the relationship. One effective approach to strengthening a struggling or broken marriage is for both the husband and wife to understand and embrace his or her role in the union. God designed marriage to be complementary, not competitive. Each person in the union is to balance the other. This is the work of completing or equalizing each other, even to the point where opposite personalities attract. It is common to encounter strong extroverted individuals who find comfort and companionship in introverts.
This opposite attracting may suggest that a spouse needs to “be fixed, corrected or improved upon.” Remember, only God can do this. It is never the role of one spouse to fix the other. Use your strengths to counteract your spouse’s weaknesses and allow the reciprocal to occur. Never demean, embarrass or disrespect your mate because he or she lacks your strengths. Keep in mind, you are a team, God’s team!
A marriage is an exercise in teamwork. We must trust the One who built the team, it is imperative that a couple, “Trust in the Lord with all their hearts and lean not to their own understanding.” He sustains the team even in challenging times. ■