Advertisement

Chasing Date Night


After 11 years, two children, and every rerun of Law and Order, it had come to this: Date Night. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s supposed to make our marriage better, stronger, more romantic. Chasing that illusion, I painted my eyes like an Arabian princess and lured my husband away from familiar platters of cow-and-tater with a wink and a promise. We hit the highway—away from PTA, soccer and the backyard BBQs of our tidy subdivision. 

I tasted youth. It tasted a lot like lip gloss.

In the university district, a trendy bistro beckoned. A blue neon ‘Jazz’ sign lit up the window. Even better: convenient parking. 

As we waited for our table, I admired our reflections behind the bartender: totally still hot. The hostess led us past the beautiful people with their tiny bowls of pasta to a small stairway. Ooh, what now? A lower level? Not only had we found the hippest spot in town, we were now being escorted into its inner sanctum. Date Night rocked. 

The grotto had a different vibe—retro, with booths, hula-dancer lamps and pop-art. Very Bradys-go-to-Vegas. 

“Good choice, gorgeous,” my husband said.  But as I waited an unreasonable amount of time for my Chardonnay, I longed for the candlelight upstairs. How soon would all the eye makeup settle into my not-so-fine lines? Once the wine arrived, I tried to pretend it didn’t taste like yesterday’s tea. The soup had to be better—cream of asparagus and crab could be nothing less than divine.

“Do you notice anything about the people down here?” I asked.

“No,” my husband lied. But everyone around us sported thicker waists and thinner hair. 

“I think this is the Old People section,” I whispered. “Nah.” 

As I forced myself through cold, starchy soup, springs dug into my motherly rear. I poked at mediocre shrimp and soggy salad. Date Night evaporated like a mirage. Not having spent 30 minutes on make-up, my husband was less vexed. 

“This place might not last long,” he said. 

“It’s a dump,” I said. The whole place looked like a yard sale that had been plowed over by a wood-paneled station wagon. This basement sucked.

Just then, a cowboy and his girl moseyed in. Neither old nor beautiful, and worlds away from cool, they cleared things up. We had been banished—not to be seen by the real clientele. Hidden away like a cousin with herpes at the church picnic. 

And me with my best mascara. 

I knew complaints wouldn’t earn me a place upstairs, but such severe humiliation required a resolution. I needed chocolate.

At our usual steakhouse, a friendly waitress promptly served us a fudgy cake/frosting/chocolate sauce concoction, which delivered more than it promised. As our cheeks blushed under the light of a Budweiser sign, we found the satisfaction that had eluded us all evening. 

So maybe we should have started at the steakhouse? Nah. After all, dating is all about the chase. 

Be the first to review this item!


Bookmark this

01 Aug 2016


By Joy Holden

Recent Articles more articles

Swimming into Summertime

in Sponsored Content

Learning to swim is a valuable part of any child’s life, and it’s also a fun form of exercise, especially in the summer.

A Salute to Mothers

in Family Life, Susan Lowry Cedotal

To all the mothers who fixed a home cooked meal only to be criticized by the tiniest food critics ever… To all the mothers who spend more time at the ball field than sleeping… To all the mothers who support other mothers…

Summer Fun at the LA Sports Festival Weekend

in Sponsored Content

The Louisiana Sports Festival is the perfect opportunity to get outdoors with your family while also getting in some exercise.

Who Needs a Hot Meal?

in Family Life, Susan Lowry Cedotal

I go to take a bite of my food.  Just as the fork reaches my lips, my children ask, “What is for dessert?” They’ve finished their meal, and I’ve hardly had a chance to eat. It is lukewarm at this point which is how I’ve learned to eat my food.

Featured Listings more listings

Kidcam Camps

in Day Camps

Join Kidcam Camps for a summer of hands-on fun! Science experiments, special guests, talent shows, water days, games, field trips, swimming, and more! We keep the campers busy all day with great hours and flexible planning.

Baton Rouge International School

in Private Schools

The Baton Rouge International School is an independent, non-profit American school offering a rigorous College preparatory curriculum in a multilingual environment (English, French, Spanish and Chinese) from preschool through 12th grade.

Basis Baton Rouge

“We teach, it's fun, it's hard, it's all about the future.” – Michael and Olga Block

Parkview Baptist School

Parkview Baptist School

in Private Schools

Parkview Baptist provides an education with an eternal foundation.

Advertisement
Newsletter