After giving birth to my youngest son, I became a single mother of two boys. At that point, I decided that I would continue to be single, wouldn’t date and would focus on raising young men. I had settled with the fact that I would indeed be a “boy mom.” Then God had other plans for me; I married my best friend, and I was more than a mother of boys now. I was a wife and essentially a mother of 3 boys (including my husband). Then, when I least expected it, God blessed me yet again. He is giving us the gift of new life. My husband, our boys and everyone I know have been hoping for us to have a girl. I honestly just want this baby to be healthy and to get through this pregnancy with no issues. I have enough to be worried about, like being over 35 and pregnant, but I’ll get to that in another article.
So, as this pregnancy has progressed, of course the main questions have been “When are you guys finding out the sex?” and “Are you hoping for a girl?” but both fall short to the statement of “You need to give that man a girl.” As if I decide the sex of the children I grow in my womb. So, when I sat in that room with my husband, the ultrasound technician and the precious baby that everyone hoped to be a girl, I watched as she pointed out all the baby’s parts and said how great everything looked. Then came the moment, “Do you guys want to know the sex?”
“Yes, please, we NEED to know,” I said.
“It’s a boy!”
In that moment, I was so happy to hear the baby was healthy, and my body was capable of growing this human, that the fact that this is boy #3 was a bonus. Had it been a girl that excitement wouldn’t have been any different. As my husband and I started to get excited about a house full of boys, and he started to let go of his dreams of daddy daughter dates, we had to start thinking about how to tell our boys and family about boy #3.
So, we set out to let those we love and who love us know that yes, we would be a family of boys! How exciting, right? Well, it was until a few people responded with, “Aww, I wanted y’all to have a girl” or “Oh well, you can try again.”
I know people are happy, I mean how could they not be, it’s a baby! But, when parents share such great news, people should understand that they don’t know what that couple may already be struggling with- possible infertility, loss, or just good old “advanced maternal age.” Whatever the case is or even if there’s no struggle at all, just celebrate with those parents. Tell them how happy you are for them. Don’t tell them what to do with their bodies. Don’t offer up a secondary congrats. Just be happy that a healthy child will be born to them!
Now, as for this Boy Mom, I couldn’t be more excited to meet this little human I feel growing inside of me every day. I cannot wait to see him interact with his father and brothers. I can’t wait to watch him take his first steps, cry as I leave him for his first day of school, cry as he gets his first crush and heartbreak, cry again as he falls in love and leaves the nest…there seems to be a lot of crying in my future over these young men we are raising. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Being a Boy Mom is the best gift God could have ever given to me and if He were to ever bless us with a girl one day, that too would be an equally great event, but for this moment we will be excited and happy with our three boys!